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Samantha Bee: Allow Me To Tell You Why Taylor Swift Is My Hero

Nothing was going to stop us.

I sprung for surprise Taylor Swift tickets for my daughter's 13th birthday, and she wept with joy. My two daughters and I spent a full month planning our outfits, and it felt like heaven. It required us to fly across the country but we would have flown across the world. I was hell bent.

As the date approached, I tracked the comings and goings of our aircraft like a hog on a truffle. "Where Is My Plane?" Friends, I always knew. I frequently updated my cork board flowchart of backup options for cities we could fly into, rent a car, and drive overnight to SoFi stadium in case our booked flight crapped out.

Pre-dawn on the day before the show, the Uber driver taking us to the airport drove over a log and our car filled with wasps. Filled. With. Wasps.

He informed me, screaming and running from the car, that he had a deadly venom allergy and had once required a tracheotomy to save his life. I single-handedly beat those wasps out of the car when he veered off the road not once but TWICE, and gamed out every possible version of "take this man to a hospital but also gtfo as soon as possible because we are making this flight, goddamn it."

At SoFi, my child was so beside herself with excitement that she tripped on her purple Speak Now dress, ripped her knees open, and bled all over her dress. We saw an EMT and kept it moving.

The communion of 70,000 people in the same place for all the right reasons was magnificent; an event closest to any religious experience I have ever had. There were no haters, there was no snark. Anyone inclined that way had long ago sold their tickets, probably for a life-changing profit.

We sat in the nosebleeds for a wildly unreasonable amount of money, and still my daughter thought Taylor Swift was singing directly at her. To be honest, Taylor was singing onstage probably a solid mile away from us, but my daughter's first words were "SHE'S. RIGHT. THERE."

I can't share with you the photos I took of my girls, which will make me cry with happiness until the day I die. The videos I have of them screaming and singing every song just like everyone around us. I now finally understand all those old black and white photos of kids sobbing at a Beatles concert.

Most of my musical heroes growing up were 45-year-old sex pests, so yes, Taylor Swift is a wonderful corrective. She is an authentic artist and an uncanny songwriter, able to simultaneously pierce the heart of a 13-year-old girl with a clever turn of phrase and a key change, but also the heart of this 54-year-old battle axe? I never would have imagined.

The amount my daughter loves her—and feels seen by her—is worth anything to me. I'd get a second mortgage just to recapture that magic, and maybe I will.

So yes, Taylor Swift is my fucking hero.

In a world where so few people and so few things live up to their promises, Taylor Swift delivers. She knows how much her fans love her, and she gives them the kind of live experience that makes it 1 million percent worth it to plan something for a year, fly thousands of miles, and battle an army of wasps and wounds. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat.

Fourteen Hives, Thousands Of Bees Stolen Near Llangollen

The beehives were stolen last weekend, and most likely at night

Fourteen beehives and thousands of bees have been stolen.

North Wales Police believe they were probably taken at night by someone with knowledge of beekeeping from Mynydd y Garth, near Llangollen, Denbighshire.

The number of bees taken has not been disclosed, but officers are appealing for information about anyone with a "sudden influx" of hives, or who is selling them or colonies.

One experienced beekeeper said it would be a "terrible blow" for the owner.

The theft took place between Monday and Wednesday, and police said the owner had lost thousands of pounds worth of bees and honey.

Police Community Support Officer Iwan Owen said whoever took them from Blackwood Lane last weekend came prepared.

"A total of 14 hives have gone, so they're likely to have been taken in a vehicle similar to a long wheelbase Ford Transit, or a trailer," he said.

"They are likely to have been taken late at night because the bees would presumably return to the hive after about 8.30pm."

"If they are hobby beekeepers like me then you have lost everything," says Cathy Williams

Hobby beekeeper Cathy Williams, who lives near Wrexham, has been beekeeping for about 10 years, a hobby that has been in her family for generations.

She has eight hives which produce about 226kg (500lbs) of honey a year and is a member of the South Clwyd Beekeepers Association.

"My smallest one [hive], with a very small colony, we've only got around 2,500 bees, but a really good strong colony will have anything upwards of 60,000," she said.

'Very serious'

"It would be catastrophic. If it was a bee farmer - it was 14 hives that were stolen - that would make a big punch in his profits for the year, a huge punch and it would set him right back to next year.

"It's because the colony goes on from year to year, season to season through its lifecycle and if you've lost all those bees, you're not going to have honey from those colonies next year, it's really very serious.

"If they are hobby beekeepers like me then you have lost everything. It's a terrible blow."

She agreed with police that the culprit would need knowledge of bees.

Cathy Williams believes that the hive thief "knows what they're doing"

She said that at this time of year bees were making "lots and lots of honey" and building up their numbers for the winter.

"So the colonies now are pretty big, on the whole, so whoever has taken these has got very probably very good sturdy colonies, which will then go through the winter.

"If they were to steal spring colonies, they will probably be a lot smaller.

"So again, whoever has stolen them knows what they're doing.

"They know that these colonies are big and desirable for people who perhaps don't know a lot about them, but want to have them.

"We would normally think of getting new colonies in the spring, we wouldn't think of necessarily buying colonies at this time of the year."

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50,000 Bees Saved From Electrical Substation Near Fakenham

Around 50,000 bees have been rescued from an electricity substation near Fakenham.

Engineers discovered the colony in a wall cavity of a brick building near Hempton.

It is believed that the bees had been settling into the wall for the last few years, making honey as the colony grew.

Specialist bee rescuer Gary Hipperson was called in to help.

The rescue took all day due to the area having a problem with bee disease, so biosecurity measures were taken to ensure the bees' safety.

Eastern Daily Press: 50,000 bees were rescued 50,000 bees were rescued (Image: UK Power Networks)

Mr Hipperson took two bricks out of the wall from the outside to check out the size of the colony.

He cut out the individual honeycombs by hand, moving bees out of the wall into a collection box.

He said: "It was a large colony and a difficult rescue because of the position of so many in a small building.

"I am pleased we were able to save and rehome the bees. We always do everything we can to save them."

Mr Hipperson took the colony back to Heath Farmhouse in Great Bircham where they were treated and put into quarantine for 76 days.

Eastern Daily Press: The bees were in a wall cavity The bees were in a wall cavity (Image: UK Power Networks)

At the end of their quarantine, the healthy colony will be moved to nearby organic farmland where they can live happily and produce honey.

Heather Patrick, environmental adviser at UK Power Networks, said: "When we find honey bees living in a substation our first approach is to try to just leave them and put up signs to warn staff of their presence.

"If they do pose a hazard we try to find a beekeeper who can rehome them.

"I'm so glad that when these bees started to cause concern, the local field engineer was determined to protect them and found a beekeeper who successfully extracted them and will give them a new home."

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